Day Four already of the Carnival of Gentle Discipline! Don’t forget to check out the posts from Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! Before we get started on today’s posts a few housekeeping items!
Giveaways
I hope you’ve already entered into the drawing by registering on the site. If you have you will also be entered to win this prize (and if you haven’t, what are you waiting for?!?): [amazon_link id="B001QVAWRS" target="_blank" container="" container_class="" ]A Kimochi Cloud![/amazon_link]
[amazon_link id="B001QVAWRS" target="_blank" container="" container_class="" ]
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We got my daughter one of these for her first birthday so it has always been part of her play. Now she goes and gets a “feeling” plush and tells us what it is. I definitely think it has helped her express herself and give words to emotions. I also have to say that it is well made. It was bigger than I expected, super soft, and hasn’t fallen apart with rough toddler-play (the head swivels so I thought it might not last and the pocket that holds the emotions hasn’t frayed or ripped). I’m also impressed with the parent tools that come with the toy and on the website (wonderful website – you should check it out!). And, as a note, I did not get this prize for the giveaway from the company; I’m just buying it myself so you can trust that I do REALLY recommend this toy! 
A little more about this remarkable learning toy;
- “Kimochi (Key.Mo.Chee) means “feeling” in Japanese. And Kimochis are what come inside each character. Kimochis are small pillows with a feeling (happy, sad, silly, brave) printed on one side, and a corresponding facial expression on the other. Each Kimochi character comes with a set of three feelings and a How-To Kimochis Feel Guide. The characters also have a special pocket where kids can store their “Kimochis” – or feelings. Using the characters and their Kimochis, kids can get in touch with their emotions through puppetry and play. The Feel Guide introduces the fun and quirky personalities of each character and offers parents fun tips and engaging activities to help strengthen parent child connections and develop healthy social and emotional skills. Go on. Express yourself with Kimochis.”
[/amazon_link]Cloud's sad side
There are several dolls to choose from and each has its own personality. Cloud is “moody” and has to sides: happy and sad. He comes with 3 plush feelings: Sad, Mad, and Happy. You can also buy additional packs of feelings as your child gets older. Lastly he comes with a Feel Guide to help parents interact with their child with the doll. Here is a video that sold me on the doll before I bought it:
I could go on. I think this is a must own for families practicing gentle discipline (since, as Dr. Markham put it emotions are the missing link!) and one of you will win one! (If you don’t win one you can [amazon_link id="B001QVAWRS" target="_blank" container="" container_class="" ]purchase one here from amazon.com[/amazon_link] and I’ll get a small referral fee!)
A reminder about the giveaways. We are giving away 4 prizes – 2 art prints from Katie M. Berggren, 1 Parenting Tool Cards, and 1 Kimochi Cloud Doll. In order to enter you must register here at ParentingGently.com then you can earn additional entries by following us on Facebook and Twitter and by asking a question or answer here on ParentingGently.com. You do not have to notify me of your additional entries. Since the site/FB/and twitter are new I’ll know if you did the extra entries. If you do all of these things you would have the maximum of 5 entries. I’ll be choosing a winner using Random.org and emailing the winners via the email accounts that they registered at ParentingGently.com with so please use a valid email for that. The giveaway ends Friday night at midnight and the winners will be contacted next Monday.
Sale in the Shop!
During the Carnival there is also a sale in the Gentle Discipline section of the shop! The Gentle Parent design and the Growing Gently design are 20% off until July 10th! Get a shirt, mug, bag, hat, blanket, keychain, or other bling to show off your conviction that there is another way beyond punishment!
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On to the Carnival!
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First up is Dionna of Code Name Mama‘s follow-up from yesterday’s post about cooperation. In Working Toward Cooperation she give examples of ways to model cooperation from [amazon_link id="1892005220" target="_blank" container="" container_class="" ]Respectful Parents Respectful Kids’s[/amazon_link] 7 Keys to Cooperation and give several examples. This one rang so true for me,
- “I am finishing a blog post, and Kieran asks me to play with him. I tell him “not right now.” Over the next twenty minutes, Kieran and I frustrate each other, because neither of us is willing to budge on what we want to do (I want to finish writing, he wants to play right now).
- Alternative that facilitates cooperation (Keys 2, 6, & 7): There are several ways I can handle this particular scenario (and I’m sure you have something similar in your own life – a work project, a task you need to regularly complete, etc.). Right now I am trying to create a time to do my work when Kieran is otherwise occupied. But in those moments when I really do need to work while Kieran is awake, I’m also using this as a time to encourage independent play. “Kieran, let’s start playing trains together.” When he is fully engrossed in trains, “Mama needs to do about 30 minutes of work. While you play with your trains, I will work in the next room. Where are you going to have your trains go? Who are they carrying?” etc. This is especially important to me, because Kieran has always balked at independent play, and I am going to need him to be more confident in this area when I have a newborn to parent as well.”
This is such and area I need growth in and you can bet I’ll be working these 7 keys into my repertoire soon!
I love Nada’s post at MiniMOMist; Loving Through Tantrums because she paints a picture beautifully. She also describes so well how tantrums are not always something that we can or should stop. Sometimes our kids need parented through them with understanding.
- “Gentle discipline in our home conveys love and patience. It recognizes her opinions and her resistances. She has the right to say when she is unhappy and wants a change in the situation. However, when her wants and needs are not in her best interest, we, as the adults and the parents, gently sooth her and explain the situation and why it must take place this way. We tell her that we have her best interests in heart, and that sometimes that doesn’t mean we let her do what she wants.”
Finally, Natural Parents Network talks about Loving Them Consistently, Just As They Are and the trap of showing love for our kids only when they “behave” or are convenient to us.
- “As parents, it is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of seeing our children as just that: children. It often makes them seem like a “thing,” a possession. With that perspective, as our children grow and become older we get confused when our “thing” won’t behave as we want or be who we want them to be anymore. However, when we see our children as individuals, when we love them consistently for who they are, with their own opinions, perspectives, and reactions to the life they live, we get to experience their joys, frustrations, and in-betweens alongside them. We no longer want to control who they are, but allow who they are to shine through.”
And isn’t that the heart of Love? Respect, patience, cooperation. Unconditionally.
Welcome to the 2nd Annual Carnival of Gentle Discipline!
Please join us all week, June 27-July 1, 2011, as we explore alternatives to punitive discipline. We have collected a wonderful array of articles and essays about the negative effects of punitive discipline methods, like spanking, and a myriad of effective alternatives. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts – new articles will be posted on the following theme days:
June 27 - Practical Tips for Getting Started with Gentle Discipline
June 28 – It’s All About Feelings: Respecting Emotions and Consensual Living
June 29 – A Fork in the Road: Turning Points in Gentle Discipline
June 30 – Gentle Discipline Recipe: Love, Patience, and Cooperation
July 1 – Gentle Discipline Resources
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